He is mine...

I have nothing.  When I gave my life to Jesus, I signed over all rights to my heart, my body, my life...everything

I handed over my body and He took it and put His Holy Spirit in it.  Let me restate that...the God who created ALL THINGS put HIS SPIRIT inside me.  As for my life...He took my old life-destined for eternal torment in hell and with one breath gave me a life of joy, peace, eternity with a holy and loving God.

God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them...Acts 15:8 

I have the spirit of Jesus and eternal life with Him. These are the things that I can call mine and never have to give up. All else I must count as lost.  The counting as lost thing is where I am currently struggling.  I like my stuff.  But none of it is mine. Over time they will change and/or be taken away.  The only thing I will have forever is Him.  Jesus is mine. I am His child.

I walked back to my room tonight thinking about my unknown future after I graduate in May.  I thought how "my" future is God's.  His fingerprints are on it.  As I thought this, I am suddenly struck by what I see in front of me. A beautiful pink sunset is the backdrop a majestic tree with orange and brown leaves.  'Wow God' is my first reaction.  Then I realize I had absolutely nothing do with that...I just walked into it.  So, this is how I feel about my future.  God is already working on it. I will just cling to Him and follow Him into something beautiful.

 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

Where I end...He begins!

My strength ended 3 assignments, 10 hours of work, and 2 courses ago.  The best news in the world is that where I end...He begins!  

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9


Do you ever pray something and think "Wow..that was a dangerous prayer.." I distinctly remember my sophomore year at a Salt Retreat asking God to use me, to wear me out for His purposes.  See...I ask God for this and then complain when He gives me what I ask for.

I feel like these last few weeks have been the biggest challenge of God answering that prayer. I gave my very best effort to complete all these tasks on my own.  For two weeks I said I was trusting God, but there was something in my heart that was still very much trying to do it on my own.  This resulted in a few slight break downs and tears.  (I have the most amazing friends who loved me through those.) I knew I couldn't do it on my own, but I gave it my very best effort!  Eventually God broke down my pride.  I had to ask Him for help and I received more than I could possibly imagine.  Crazy how He is faithful to His word.

So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Luke 11:9

When I was driving home from work on Monday night I was thinking how I had three assignments to complete that night...(this is after I have been working hard completing 2 other assignments over the weekend.)  Obviously I was anxious about getting it all done and still being able to sleep.  Then this thought popped into my head.  I serve a God who breathed the very breath of eternal life in my body, saved me from eternity in hell. If you really meditate on these truths they will knock you over in amazement! So I truly humble myself before Him and asked for help. And it was like God was just waiting patiently for me to really humbly ask for help. And guess what? Let's just say He was super faithful and I got those assignments done in a very timely manner and got 8 hours of sleep!

So...what I have learned the last few weeks?

Life is much easier, joyful, fun, and more full of laughter when I let God help me! :)

A Holy Life?

You're calling me to lay aside
The worries of my day
To quiet down my busy mind
Find a hiding place
Worthy, You are worthy

Open up my heart
And let my spirit worship Yours
I open up my mouth
And let a song of praise come forth
Worthy, You are worthy

Of a childlike faith
And of my honest praise
Of my unashamed love
Of a holy life
And of my sacrifice
Of my unashamed love 

These are lyrics I have sang many times, but this morning these words seem to present a challenge.  Are the things these verses talk about things that characterize my life? He is worthy of all of it, yet I cannot seem to give it all to Him. What does a holy life look like? I am struggling to find an answer.  It certainly can't be mine, can it? Mine is marked by failure to obey, failure to put Him first, failure to desire His will before anything else, failure to give Him my full attention...many failures on my part.  How can my life be holy? These verses comes to mind.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

Back to the question, how can my life be holy?  Answer: Jesus.  He loved me and died for me. After I surrender my life to Him, my life became holy.  The Holy Spirit entered my body and it became holy. So, I guess a holy life is one that is sold out for Him.  One that is full of Jesus and the very Spirit of God inside me.  So, full of everyday failures, but full of confession and constant reliance on the salvation He gives. This is my conclusion of what a holy life looks like.  Less of me..more of Jesus. 

His plans vs my plans

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, 

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, 

plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

I have been learning a lot about my plans versus God plans and how to think about them. I have always had a serious problem with trying to figure out God's plan.  I frequently plan the future.  If you have been following God for any length of time you know how pointless this is and yet I proceed to do so pretty consistently.  God has recently brought this sin into the light and has been doing some extensive work on my heart.

Lesson 1: He reveals His plans in His time.

At the beginning of the summer I thought I was going to figure out what I was going to do a year from now.  I was easily going to seek God's heart and figure out if I would be going grad school or overseas. Well, God doesn't work like that.  I think He laughs lovingly at my ignorance. It is now 2 weeks before school starts and I am not a whole lot closer to figuring it out. And that is the way He wants it.  He has shown me that I will know His plans when He is ready to reveal them to me and not a moment before. Even if I struggle and struggle to try to figure it out before, He will not show me. And knowing Him He probably has something completely different in mind.  Who knows? I certainly do not! 

Lesson 2: He prepares our heart for His plans

As stated in previous posts I am moving back on campus in 2 weeks! If you had told me a year ago that I would be moving back to campus I would have thought you were crazy.  It has been a process getting my heart in line with God's plans. I obviously wanted to do it, but a week ago I had a  lots of tears. Then yesterday God just gave my heart this unbelievable excitement for moving back.  Our lives as Christ followers are to be poured out as a drink offering.  The joy I feel in anticipation of the way He will do this the next year is hardly bearable! I could seriously move in tomorrow I'm so stinking pumped for the school year! But once again I'm gently reminded to slow down and learn what He wants to teach me today :)

By trying to figure out the future I miss the blessings and lessons in today.  In trying to figure out the future I miss the ways He is trying to prepare me for it. I may not know what my future holds, but I know that the One who plans it is preparing me for it in ways that I cannot possibly imagine.  So I will look for Him in today and try to learn what He is teaching me today and wait patiently.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably 

more than all we ask or imagine, 

according to his power that is at work within us,

to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus 

throughout all generations,

for ever and ever! 

Amen. 

Ephesians 3:20-21

Kisses from Katie BOOK!

So this lady has a book!! I have already pre-ordered mine on Amazon! You should do the same or at least check out her blog.  I have shameless mentioned her blog about 5 times on my blog, but only because it is so stinking good! :)

Consolatta

So I was watching this video and my heart broke. This woman is my age.  She has been deserted by her family, raped, and no long able to walk.  When I watch this video I feel two main emotions. Guilt. Guilty that I have like a family who loves me, two working legs, and never experienced great suffering.  I also feel pity.  Pity for her and how sad a situation she is in.

It is quite possible that I would have forgotten about this girl in about a week.  But then God started stirring in my heart.  These videos are created for a reason. For more than just 5 minutes of pity and guilt. God changed these emotions to compassion, but I want to live my life to help woman such as her.  Children who have been abandoned, raped, prostituted, abused, and left to feel more emotions than they can possibly handle.  I want to watch God transform their lives.  I want to tell them they are not just a number or a video I saw once.  I want to look them in the eye and tell them the God of universe sent His perfect Son to die, so that He could one day hold you in His hand and tell you of His love for you.

I soon realize my pity and guilt will get Consolatta no where, but God is in her life.  He is revealing His love in her life.  The fact that she can get in front of a camera and tell her story is AMAZING!  He is revealing His glory through her.  I don't know this woman anymore than this video that is a little under 5 minutes, but I want to be a servant to a God who is as powerful enough to bring her from where she was to where she is now.

The best part is..He isn't done in her life and He isn't done in mine.

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
   because the LORD has anointed me
   to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
   to proclaim freedom for the captives
   and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
   and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn, 

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
   instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
   instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
   instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
   a planting of the LORD
   for the display of his splendor. 

Isaiah 61:1-3

Romans 8:28

Across the will of nature
Lead on the path of God;
Not where the flesh delighteth
The feet of Jesus trod.
~Amy Carmichael

My goal is God Himself, not joy nor peace,
Not even blessing, but Himself, my God.
~Oswald Chambers

WARNING:the following is sappy reflections so if you don't like sappiness return to facebook :)

So I feel like all words I have been writing the last few months about living uncomfortably and facing anxiety will be things I will come face to face with in this next season of my life. I will be moving out of the beloved apartment 4. It is a lot harder than I ever expected. So much life has happened in this apartment. It is the first place I have called home since my parents house. Like when I'm on long vacations I long to come home to apt. 4. It's home, I decorated it with my roomies, I learned to cook here, I learned what being a good roommate and friend looks like, I became a real adult here. I learned to make more decisions on my own. I learned how to pay bills. I learned a deeper level of selflessness. I learned to clean a bathroom. (thanks natalie!) And many many more things. And over the last few years through every roommate change and learning all this, one amazing friend has been there the whole time. But now I have chosen to leave a place I call home and some wonderful roommates. I have a new found respect of people who move around all time or have to face changes more often than I do. I know I'm being awfully dramatic for only moving 5 miles away, but hey its my blog, so I get to write what I want ;)

All that being said I am also INCREDIBLY excited for what God has in store. Here is the part that brings that uncomfortable and fear/anxious stuff. Adjusting to a new living space in always uncomfortable and learning to live with a new person and hoping she don't notice ALL my flaws right away. But also living on campus with a whole bunch of new freshman...this I'm kinda excited for, but also praying for patience :) I'm also taking the largest number of credits I have ever taken, along with work, volunteering, and leadership stuff. Its bit overwhelming, but I don't say it to complain. Instead to say that because I will have to face my fear of doing what seems like a lot of things in my eyes. I know that all this will cause me to rely on God more. There is absolutely no way I can do any of things well without Him. When I'm not at my very weakest, it's easier for me to miss what God does. So I go into this is semester very much aware of my fleshes weakness and fear, but knowing that Jesus has walked before me preparing a way. I am so excited to see who God brings into my life and what He has to teach me and the people around me. It's going to be good :)

He promises!

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

So stay tuned...this fall will be full of stupid stories and lessons learned. That's it for now, I'm off to enjoy summer for one more month! :)