'What I Want You To Know'

I read this on another blog and wanted to share.  I just copy and pasted it below, but here is the link too! http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2011/12/what-i-want-you-to-know-how-church.html

"What I want you to know is that the way the church views sexual abuse and teaches (or lack thereof) its congregation about how to handle sexual abuse is often misguided and misconstrued. I want you to know that our lack of understanding as Christians fills me with an unholy rage. Childhoods are being ripped away.

Every 2 minutes (in the United States alone) someone is sexually assaulted.  I have visited well over 15 churches throughout the course of my lifetime. Of all my visits, only 2 churches have discussed the ramifications of sexual abuse and how we, as Christians, should react. Unfortunately, I know more women who have been sexually abused than I can count on one hand. Does anyone else sense just how devastating that is? Of all the women I know who were sexually abused, all but one experienced the sexual abuse during childhood. Two of them had perpetrators were well-revered members of their church communities. Two of these brave women told me that the abuse they suffered is the reason they don't believe in God. After all, what kind of a loving Creator would allow such atrocities to happen to such innocence?"

"The most angering experience I had in a church was when I visited one in Chicago while an undergrad. One of the first sermons I attended discussed sexual abuse. At first it was pretty on-par with what I believe. By the conclusion, he entirely lost me: "Both the sexual abuser and the abused need to ask for God's forgiveness for their sins. The victim's body is a temple and by being abused they have desecrated their temple. Therefore they need to seek God's forgiveness for the sins against their body." I think I was in shock. I didn't know how to process it. It tore my heart in two."

"If I could go back, the things I would say to this man. Is the body a temple? Yes. Do you honestly believe God would expect a victim of sexual abuse to ask for forgiveness for "their role in the act"? No way. I can assure you that no sexual abuse victim was a willing participant. That's why it's called abuse. This pastor was so ignorant of the ramifications of abuse. I will forever regret not speaking out because I truly believe his words were not God's. I've witnessed the heartbreak. I've cried with the victims. The pain is insurmountable. Sexual abuse is devastating."

"So, as a church, what can we do? We need to discuss it. Silence just reaffirms the victim's mentality that it was somehow their fault when it so clearly wasn't. We need to develop a deeper understanding of it so that when we do discuss it we do not speak damaging, unholy words. We need to provide sexual abuse victims resources to cope with their trauma. But most importantly, we need to love the victims and support them unconditionally: we need to show them Christ's love. It's not our job to make anyone believe in God. However, I truly believe that if we personify Christ's love that so many more will want to seek Him out. I also believe that true and total healing can only be found in Christ. And sexual abuse victims need total healing more than just about anyone I've ever met."

"One Thousand Gifts"

I have been reading this book called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp.  God has shown me so much through this book.  The truths God showed me in this book are what helped me get through this past semester.  The book walks the reader threw Ann's life as she learns to see God in EVERYTHING.  She begins by making a list of all the things she is thankful for.  But this is not just a list of the typical things we always thank God for on the surface (good health, or family or friends). Not that these are not amazing blessings, but she takes it one step deeper and sees the beauty that God lays before her in every day that she missed before.  To see this beauty she has to slow down and take in every moment. The sound of children laughing, smell of flowers, sight of a bird are things that God uses to draw her into Himself.

Coming into this past semester with so much on my plate, I knew I was going to have to slow my mind down and look for God in the little things.  Otherwise I will be running from thing to thing not really serving God in any of it. When I looked for God He showed up.  He captured my heart in ways I can scare explain.  

In the book, she faces challenges such as seeing what to be thankful for in suffering and pain.  She begins to see how giving thanks for the suffering transforms it into something beautiful. Then she talks about how Jesus gives thanks and it transforms things.   

"Because eucharisteo (thanksgiving) is how Jesus, at the Last Supper, showed us to transfigure all things-- take the pain that is given, give thanks for it, and transform it into a joy that fulfills all emptiness. I have glimpsed it: This, is hard eucharisteo.  The hard discipline to lean into the ugly and whisper thanks to transfigure it into beauty.  The hard discipline to give thanks for all things at all times because HE is all good."


The lessons God has taught me in this book are powerful and I will use them in the future as He challenges me. 


You can check out her blog here. Or buy her book here.

A year ago...

A year ago I started this blog.  As I was reading what I have written the past year I am amazed.  Amazed at what I was saying, amazed at what God has taught me, and amazed at the way my life has changed.  A theme seems to continue to come up...waiting for God's timing.  Seriously, for all you who have read this from the beginning..why didn't you tell me a whine way to much about waiting on God.  Accountability people! (Natalie? Where are you at? ;)) In some ways I feel like waiting on God's timing is something I will always be learning because I am REALLY bad at it.  However, along with my whining, are stories of God's faithfulness and lessons learned.

The following are my own words from past posts:

 

1)"All in all, I know that so far I have done what God has set in place for me to do. It is not what I first desired, but I have decided to embrace God's timing and trust that He knows what He is doing." 

2)Through the waiting I am determined to see God in everything, no matter where I am at.

Trusting God means:

• not having all the answers (sometimes it seems like you have no answers at all), but being okay with it
• stepping out in faith not knowing what He has in store, but being excited about it anyway
• Changes come so that we continue to realize the blessings we have and to draw us nearer to God

3)"I keep praying that I would see God's work. I think that when I live life uncomfortably He will have more of an opportunity to do just that. He will also reveal Himself and bring glory to His name through every situation. Isn't that why I am here in the first place, to glorify His name??"

 My comments to them now:

1) "Embrace God's timing and trust that He knows what He is doing." That sounds wise...maybe I should take my own advice huh?

2)You know it kinda stings to read your own words.  Your own words can cut straight to your heart..wow!

3) Living life uncomfortably ha!...bet I didn't know a year later I would be a senior living in the dorms again!

Overall...The Holy Spirit in my wrote those words, not the fleshy part of me...that's for sure!

I definitely did not know the full consequences of some prayers prayed, but they would definitely explain some life circumstances I find myself in currently.  WARNING! Be careful what you pray for...God's serious about the "ask and ye shall receive" thing!

As soon as I finish writing the above statement and I am now thinking..I would totally do it again because even though it was hard and really sucked at times..it was still SO WORTH IT! I know so much more about God now. And I will definitely continue to pray the dangerous prayers because God has stolen my heart.  It is His and nothing can seperate us now. My heart is His and its deepest desire will always be to bring glory to His name no matter the cost.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. " Romans 8:38 

So I am bracing myself for another year of joy and heartache.  Knowing God will reveal Himself even more this year than last year.  He will break my heart for what breaks His (this is how He gets me to do the crazy things..haha).  I ball my eyes out and ask what can I do...He is in control from there. 

Thanks for reading this and all the other posts! Be prepared for another year full of stories about God's goodness, with hints of whining about waiting (sorry people...I'm a work in progress!) 

Letting Him Love Me

Confession: Even feeling God's love after the last post I am still struggling to let God love me. Yup, I can write that and still be defiant towards God.  I am not perfect.

I know God wants to fully love me, but I a feeling of intense unworthiness.  At the very core of me, I know that whatever He gives me I am bound to mess up.  So why give it to me? Why does a Holy God put His Holy Spirit in a body that is bound to disgrace it? The answer came at Salt Company last Thursday.

Drew talked about the glory of God.  He said we are made to worship God and bring glory to His name.  That is our whole purpose.  To illustrate this Drew created this picture:

Imagine that there is car coming towards a bridge.  One side is you and on the other is Jesus.  God has to decide which one to hit: me or Jesus, God's perfect son (the one who has never disgraced God's name).  I know that God will choose to hit Jesus. What I saw in the picture in my head was me trying to run over in front of Jesus, so that God would not have to kill Him.  I am the unworthy one, so I should be the one to die. However, by my interference I am not letting God's full glory be shown.  If God had hit me or like the Bible says, leave us in our sin, then His full power would never be revealed.  But by letting us crucify His Son, then He could show His power by bringing His Son back to life. 

Light bulb!! I am here on this earth to bring God glory.  By rejecting His love or not letting Him fully reveal Himself to/in me because I feel undeserving I am not letting Him show His full glory.  As He sanctifies me I am to share what He does.  I am to tell of His works. My life is to reflect His work.  In being honest about my weakness, God's strength will be shown.

God wants to use me to bring Him glory and it is difficult to do that if I am pushing His love away.  Truthfully, I am still working out the details, but if I can bring Him glory by letting Him love me then I want to be all about that!

 ¹ But now, this is what the LORD says—
   he who created you, Jacob,
   he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
   I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters,
   I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
   they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
   you will not be burned;
   the flames will not set you ablaze.
³ For I am the LORD your God,
   the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
   Cush and Seba in your stead.
⁴ Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
   and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,
   nations in exchange for your life.
⁵ Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
   I will bring your children from the east
   and gather you from the west.
⁶ I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
   and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring my sons from afar
   and my daughters from the ends of the earth—
⁷ everyone who is called by my name,
   whom I created for my glory,
   whom I formed and made.” 

Isaiah 43:1-7

 

Love

⁶ Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes;
I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way.
⁷ She will chase after her lovers but not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them.
Then she will say,
‘I will go back to my husband as at first,
for then I was better off than now.’ 
 ⁸ She has not acknowledged that I was the one
who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil,
who lavished on her the silver and gold—
which they used for Baal.

¹² I will ruin her vines and her fig trees,
which she said were her pay from her lovers;
I will make them a thicket,
and wild animals will devour them.
¹³ I will punish her for the days
she burned incense to the Baals;
she decked herself with rings and jewelry,
and went after her lovers,
but me she forgot,”
declares the LORD.

Hosea 2:6-8, 12-13

I read this and I feel like Gomer, the woman being described in this passage.  I have ran to other lovers.  I have wanted and pursued what God has told me is not good for me.  I have chosen to disobey Him and try to pave my own path.  This has always and will always end in ruin.  I PROMISE. 

But to my disobedience God says this is the very next verse:

¹⁴ “Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the wilderness
and speak tenderly to her.
¹⁵ There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will respond as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

¹⁶ “In that day,” declares the LORD,
“you will call me ‘my husband’;
you will no longer call me ‘my master.^[d]’
¹⁷ I will remove the names of the Baals from her lips;
no longer will their names be invoked.
¹⁸ In that day I will make a covenant for them
with the beasts of the field, the birds in the sky
and the creatures that move along the ground.
Bow and sword and battle
I will abolish from the land,
so that all may lie down in safety.
¹⁹ I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,
in love and compassion.
²⁰ I will betroth you in faithfulness,
and you will acknowledge the LORD.

Hosea 2:14-20

Did you get that people? To our inability to do a darn good thing, God says He wants to be our husband. The God who is described in the previous post wants to be your Husband.  He has betrothed Himself to us with righteousness, justice, love, compassion, and faithfulness.  HE LOVES YOU! He wants to for Himself.  He wants all of you..the good and the bad. Because He takes the bad and will turn it into good.  He wants everything!  He has pursued you and will always pursue you until He is your everything.  He loves you and He wants you to love Him in return.  What is your response?





Isaiah 40

²⁷ Why do you complain, Jacob?
   Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the LORD;
   my cause is disregarded by my God”?
²⁸ Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
   and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint. 

Isaiah 40:27-31

He is mine...

I have nothing.  When I gave my life to Jesus, I signed over all rights to my heart, my body, my life...everything

I handed over my body and He took it and put His Holy Spirit in it.  Let me restate that...the God who created ALL THINGS put HIS SPIRIT inside me.  As for my life...He took my old life-destined for eternal torment in hell and with one breath gave me a life of joy, peace, eternity with a holy and loving God.

God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them...Acts 15:8 

I have the spirit of Jesus and eternal life with Him. These are the things that I can call mine and never have to give up. All else I must count as lost.  The counting as lost thing is where I am currently struggling.  I like my stuff.  But none of it is mine. Over time they will change and/or be taken away.  The only thing I will have forever is Him.  Jesus is mine. I am His child.

I walked back to my room tonight thinking about my unknown future after I graduate in May.  I thought how "my" future is God's.  His fingerprints are on it.  As I thought this, I am suddenly struck by what I see in front of me. A beautiful pink sunset is the backdrop a majestic tree with orange and brown leaves.  'Wow God' is my first reaction.  Then I realize I had absolutely nothing do with that...I just walked into it.  So, this is how I feel about my future.  God is already working on it. I will just cling to Him and follow Him into something beautiful.

 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11