My life

To start I want to say that my life is not my own. "Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?" Luke 9:23-25

These two blogs adequately describe how I feel right now, in terms of how I want to live my life.

This one talks about the living a life beyond the materialistic things.

• "We have cute handbags, pretty paper, and desire gorgeous houses. Our society is consumed with superficial loveliness."
• "And while God created true beauty, it isn’t found in home decor or luxury cars. It’s not really about perfect figures or chiseled
  appearances."
• "There’s nothing desirous about poverty so devastating it chokes the very breath out of you. The stench of living without simple resources
  makes you want to run."

Here is a blog discribing a 20-something single mom to 13 girls in Africa. She is giving up her life to serve her daughters and following God even if it's dangerous and risky.

These women seem to really get the whole “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple" thing you know? (Luke 14:26-27)

I want my life to look like that.

Perfection and Waiting

WAIT

By Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT."

Lately I have been thinking about perfection and waiting, Both separately and how they are related.

Waiting has taken on a new meaning to me in the last year. Not only in things happening in my world, but in the lives of people around me. It has been my observation that everyone is waiting for something.

I have personally been waiting for a day when me education will be complete and I can go do something more purposeful for orphans. If you have been following my blog or know me very at all, you may have noticed my frustration with this area, but like always God has been faithful in calming my heart. I am taking Perspectives (a class about God's view of the world). One week the speaker talked about how missions is where we are at and God has put us where we are for a reason. On the surface this does not seem earth shattering, but to me-"light bulb". I had been so focused on orphan work that I could do overseas and what that looks like in my future that I totally missed the opportunities God had given me here. I chose to think that my plans were better and that God did not know what He was doing. I would not advise this thinking because you will be unhappy and completely bashing the Creator of the universe. The good news is, He was faithful, because that is the God I serve. So although I have my moments of frustration, Jesus brings me back and shows me the wonderful things that are happening here in Ames, Iowa that I get to be a part of.

Another thing I have been learning is the idea of perfection. Sometimes I get fed up with the fact that I am indeed a sinner. I feel like I cannot do anything right and continually mess things up. But then out of no where God comes in and shows His glory in something I did. I have to stand there in awe of how He could have possibly used me to glorify Himself (trust me this is not always/ever an easy task). Shortly after this moment of awe, I soon mess up. This is the pattern of my life. BUT...that is what Jesus died for. He loved me enough to lay down His life, so that I don't have to live in pain, selfishness, and darkness.

So...I am a work in progress. I have come to term with the fact that I am not perfect, nor will I ever be. But God wants me to strive for perfection. Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:48 He knows I will fail, but He wants me to try anyway. As I attempt, I become more like Jesus and that brings me the greatest joy.

So I wait for the day when I will be done with my education and I will get to do something a little more exciting with orphans. I will also wait for the day when I get to heaven and see the perfect Creator and I no longer have to struggle with sin. Through the waiting I am determined to see God in everything, no matter where I am at. I will try my hardest to be like Jesus because that is what having a relationship with Him is all about.

His Love

Is a very personal look into my heart and my relationship with Jesus. This is mostly just for my own processing.

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel I'm moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in the secret place
Cause Your love is extravagant

As I started writing this the lyrics above starting playing on pandora. These are the things Jesus does :) His love is the thing that holds me together. His friendship is extremely intimate. He has known me in my mothers womb (Psalm 139:13-14) and He has a plan specifically for me (Eph. 2:10). He loves me in a way no one in this world ever can.

God has taken my life and made it beautiful. When I came to college, I had a very small view of the world. My main concern was me. What I was going to eat, how many hours of sleep I was going to get, and doing things that I was comfortable doing. By God's truly amazing grace, the last 2 1/2 years have been a years of great transformation. They have been filled with seasons of joy, trial, fear, prayer, confusion and triumph. I have learned that through every season in life, He is there to comfort and love you. He uses scripture, His own voice, and friends to love me and point me to Him. My heart is so overwhelmed by His unbelievable faithfulness.

Here is a short bulleted list of things He has taught me:

• I have learned about God's love for me and every single person on this earth. The way He desires me to love Him alone, is the same way He desires everyone to.

About Prayer:

• Prayer is great way to ask Him to move mountains and being dumb founded when He does :)
  
• Prayer can change lives if we let it
  
• Beware, praying a lot can lead to praying some scary, intense prayers
• It is worth waking up at the wee hours of the morning to talk with the Creator of the Universe, things will happen!
  

The world does not revolve around me:

• There is a bigger picture being painted than the one I can see.
• There is a world going on around me that I cannot see, but God wants me pray for it and be aware of it.
  
• I am part of a great big family, the Body of Christ. This means serving one another in a joyous and selfless way.
• Serving in a joyous selfless way is sometimes really hard.
• Everything I have is His. The reason that I have everything I have, is because of Him. Therefore, I am to use it to glorify Him.

Loving Jesus means :

• letting go of things you love very much
• crying so hard your whole body is tingling because your heart is so broken for children and orphans that you have never met.
• wanting to love children who have no one to love them and wrap your arms around them to share Jesus with them.
• being willing to give up everything here, just to be able to do the above statement

Trusting God means:

• not having all the answers (sometimes it seems like you have no answers at all), but being okay with it
• stepping out in faith not knowing what He has in store, but being excited about it anyway
• Changes come so that we continue to realize the blessings we have and to draw us nearer to God

I know there is more He has taught me, but this is what I have at the moment. I praise Him for wanting to teach me these things and wanting me to know His love for me.

He alone is King!

Proverbs 27:17

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

I have truly learned the the meaning of this verse the last few years. God has placed many wonderful people in my life to encourage me, pray for me, love me, pray for me, keep me accountable, and pray for me. Through the seasons of my life, many people have come in and out to teach me various things. For them I am so very grateful. Here are some favorite pictures of mine.

Megan, my sister-law, there are no words for the role she has played in my life.

Have loved these ladies since the very early years.

Basically, my roomies my freshman year!

Freshman Year Bible Study Ladies! I did A LOT of growing happened with these ladies.

A summer at camp forever changed me, and these ladies were there to help me the whole time.

Sophomore year roomies!

Jaime and I took our first shot at leading a connection group together. Let's just say God did good!

Road trip with Jenny, Natalie, and Nicole!!

One of my favorite pictures of some pretty awesome ladies who have FOREVER impacted me.

Lilia, a newer friend, but has impacted me greatly.

These pictures are by no means an exclusive list of people of whom I consider friends. I am who and where I am today because of these ladies. I praise God for the abundant amount of the wonderful people who have come into my life for a specific purpose and taught me so much! I also praise Him for the new friends He continually blesses me with. He is AWESOME!!

"The next best thing to being wise oneself, is to live in a circle of those who are." -C.S. Lewis

(I have to mention that one dear friend of mine loves this guy...ahem..Natalie Elliott)

Isaiah 40

1Comfort, comfort my people,
says your God.
2Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
and proclaim to her
that her hard service has been completed,
that her sin has been paid for,
that she has received from the LORD’s hand
double for all her sins.

³A voice of one calling:
“In the wilderness prepare
the way for the LORD;
make straight in the desert
a highway for our God.
⁴ Every valley shall be raised up,
every mountain and hill made low;
the rough ground shall become level,
the rugged places a plain.
⁵ And the glory of the LORD will be revealed,
and all people will see it together.
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.”

6A voice says, “Cry out.”
And I said, “What shall I cry?”

“All people are like grass,
and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field.
⁷ The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of the LORD blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.
⁸ The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God endures forever.”

9You who bring good news to Zion,
go up on a high mountain.
You who bring good news to Jerusalem,^c]">[c]
lift up your voice with a shout,
lift it up, do not be afraid;
say to the towns of Judah,
“Here is your God!”
10See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power,
and he rules with a mighty arm.
See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.
11He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.

12Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance?
13 Who can fathom the Spirit^d]">[d] of the LORD,
or instruct the LORD as his counselor?
14Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,
and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge,
or showed him the path of understanding?

15 Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
they are regarded as dust on the scales;
he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.
16 Lebanon is not sufficient for altar fires,
nor its animals enough for burnt offerings.
17 Before him all the nations are as nothing;
they are regarded by him as worthless
and less than nothing.

18With whom, then, will you compare God?
To what image will you liken him?
19As for an idol, a metalworker casts it,
and a goldsmith overlays it with gold
and fashions silver chains for it.

20 A person too poor to present such an offering
selects wood that will not rot;
they look for a skilled worker
to set up an idol that will not topple.

21Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood since the earth was founded?

22He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.
²³ He brings princes to naught
and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.
²⁴ No sooner are they planted,
no sooner are they sown,
no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.

²⁵ “To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.
²⁶ Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one
and calls forth each of them by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

²⁷ Why do you complain, Jacob?
Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God”?
²⁸ Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Resources

If you are interested in helping orphans and poverty, but are not a place in time where adoption is an option check out this post. It gives amazing resources!!

Here are some websites about:
Foster care
More Foster Care
General Adoption Advocacy
Adoption Advocacy geared towards birth mothers
Research and Education side of Adoption
Orphan help in Sierra Leone, West Africa

Foster Care

I do not know much about foster care, BUT I was reading a friends blog that led me to a blog that led me to another blog that led me to these staggering statistics (the following parentheses are my added calculations)...

From Children's Law Center LA (http://www.clcla.org/facts_overview.htm). If you go to this page you can see where they pulled the data from. Good sources.

1. On any given day, half a million (that's 500,000, roughly the population size of Fresno, CA) abused and neglected children and youth are in foster care in our nation.

2. More than half of foster children spend at least two years in the foster care system, and nearly 20 percent (100,000 children) wait five or more years for a safe, permanent family.

3. On average, children in foster care move through three different foster care placements, frequently with little or no warning.

4. 118,000 of the children currently in foster care are waiting to be adopted.

5. About 19,000 older youth “age out” of foster care each year without a permanent family to support them.

As a result, the future – for many of these youth – is anything but bright. According to research studies:

6. Over a third of foster youth earn neither a high school diploma nor a GED.

7. Fewer than half of young adults were employed 12 to 18 months after aging out of the foster care system.

8. One third of youth who age out of the foster care system evidence mental health problems, the most prevalent diagnoses being Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, alcohol or substance abuse, and major depression.

9. Approximately one third of foster children will receive some form of public assistance shortly after aging out of the system.

10. About one fourth of foster youth will be incarcerated within the first two years after they leave the system.

11. Over one fifth of foster children will become homeless at some time after age 18.

This is an amazing story of family that adopted a little boy named Isaiah. It has nothing to do with foster care. I cried when I watched it, so I thought I would share.