Then you crash over me and I've lost control but I'm free
I am going under, I am in over my head
And you crash over me, I'm where You want me to be
I'm going under, I'm in over my head
Whether I sink, whether I swim
It makes no difference when I'm beautifully in over my head
Whether I sink, whether I swim
It makes no difference when I'm beautifully in over my head
I'm Beautifully in over my head
I'm Beautifully in over my head
In over my head-Bethel
Whew! It has been quite the whirlwind in my life. My heart deeply connected with the lyrics above that I heard for the first time today. After an intense season (see previous post) God has calmed the storm a bit and letting me get back on my feet. My most ever read post was a prayer inspired by a song that God would take me deeper into the ocean--where feet may fail and fear surrounds. Incase you were wondering God answered.
He gave me my hearts desire. To go deep with people and shine light into the darkness hiding within. This has shaken me. This has completely stripped me of all my independence and self-sufficiency. While I give up quite the fight, Jesus always wins. He has to be my Source of light and love. Period. I have been forced to trust Him in every part of my emotional and physical being. Daily I am emptied of my strength and forced to once again rely on Him for the words I speak and the actions I show. When I attempt a day on my own I can get through half a day...maybe. But fear is quick to overtake me when I don't abide in Jesus.
Yes, God has certainly brought me out into the ocean. But I am beginning to realize the waves that Satan tries to destroy me with are what God uses for good. When fear hits me hard there seems to be something good that comes out of it. Frequently it results in me being forced to acknowledge God's sovereignty and abide in Him more intimately. So out here in the ocean I have experienced amazing grace. I am learning freedom from fear. I am learning deep peace that I never dreamt possible. And I am learning great dependence and strength.
He saves the lost. He empowers the weak. He is faithful to the faithless. Because Jesus died these things have been made a reality in my life. I was nothing, but He made me His Beloved. He is Lord and He is Love. He has claimed me as His daughter. In love, His daughter is being sanctified by the ocean that I may look more like Jesus when I reach Heaven some day. This my life. And I would want it no other way.
But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to change the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not---to nullify the things that are sot hat no may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God--that is our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."
1 Cor. 1:27-31
