Honduras!

I realized that I never mentioned on my blog that I was planning on going on a missions trip, but I will declare it now!
I left the U.S! I have stamp in my passport to prove it!!
About a week ago, I arrived back in the U.S. after one incredible week in Tegucigalpa, Honduras.  In an effort to not forget the work God did in my heart and the things He showed me there, I have decided to blog a little bit each week until I run out of things to say about it.  Warning: you might be reading about Honduras for the next few months ;)

 Where to start.....probably the beginning of the trip??

After we landed at the airport in Tegucigalpa we took a 50 minute bus ride up the mountain to La Casa De Esperanza (House of Hope), where we would be staying for the week.   

This bus ride was shocking for two main reasons.

Reason One: the way people drive. 

I have heard many stories about driving habits in other countries, but to experience it myself was awesome! It was crazy and wonderful and I loved it so much! Every bus ride was quite the adventure due the people we would see, the scenery we would see, the conversations we would have, and the things we would almost hit but by God's grace didn't.

Our incredible bus driver for the week:

Reason Two: the way people live.

Again, I have heard stories from people who have gone to various countries and seen poverty, I have seen pictures of poverty, and I even saw pictures of the poverty specifically in Tegucigalpa before I left, but I still wasn't prepared to see it myself.  I just wanted to cry the whole way up there, but in the best sort of way.  What I saw broke my heart and I pray continually that God will break my heart for what breaks His (maybe this is why I cry all the time).

What I saw was terrible. Cement shacks, one on top of the other (see picture 1), with tall brick walls around them and barbwire on-top of the walls.  People just standing around and doing nothing, not able to work was my assumption. Shoeless small children walking alone along the main road for anyone to take and use as they pleased.  Random donkeys and people in the grassy median that separated the four lanes of traffic. These people had no material things and no real purpose it seemed. At least in the U.S. we have material things right to mask the meaninglessness of life without Christ right?

  And so as soon as I got to my new bedroom I crawled up on my top bunk and wept.  I wept for the hurt and pain experienced by the people that I would meet the coming week. From what I saw, life in Tegucigalpa is hard.

Here is the very first sentences from in my journal I had in Honduras (written as a cried in my bed):

 "Without You there is no hope. Without You there is no purpose.

But with You there is unending hope and we get the greatest purpose bestowed on us:

TO GLORIFY THE KING."

(underlined and capitalized in my journal too)

And I as my heart broke, I still felt that God was moving in Tegucigalpa.  That wasn't because I could see Him physically. All my eyes saw were poverty and oppression, but there was something inside of me that knew there was something in the unseen that was good.  And I was determined to spend the coming week seeking God's glory in Tegucigalpa. After all, God finally brought me to a foreign country and darn it, I was going to see what He was doing there!

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Growing Up...

Have you ever had that moment when you think "Am I really old enough for this?" This is the experience I had this past weekend as I watched my oldest and closest friend get married.

Last day of Kindergarten-1994                                                             Brittany's Wedding-2012

Every little girl dreams of her wedding day. It's just the way God made us I think. I definitely remember sitting on the couch in Brittany's room (because her room was huge) talking about boys, looking at bridal dresses in magazines her mom had gotten, and dreaming about our wedding days. At one point we might have dreamed up a double wedding ;) That truly doesn't seem that long ago.  But somehow time passes and she met the man of her dreams, we graduated high school, we went to Iowa State, she called me and told me she was engaged, and we went wedding dress shopping for real!  This was all great and it happened so gradually that it didn't seem that big of a deal.  However, I went home for her bridal shower a few months ago and I distinctly remember the moment when I was putting laundry in the washer at my parents house when I thought "Oh my gosh, Brittany's getting married." Tears filled my eyes then and they do now as I write this.

I'm not sure I can put into words how I felt/feel.  We're not little girls anymore.  We're not running around her farm and jumping on the trampoline, we're not going on family vacations to their cabin, we're not dressing up in our cute little 'Just for Kix' costumes, and I'm not even scared of dogs anymore. 

We only have one life and it goes fast.  And in this one life I think there are stages.  The stage of silliness and childishness is wonderful! I am so blessed to have been able to walk through the last 16 years with a wonderful friend, but the days of childishness are past. As I got to read at Brittany's wedding "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me." 1 Cor. 13:11

 

So, we have come the stage of being an adult. In this stage we get to take the wisdom we have gained the last 16 years and use it to serve others. In this stage we get to do fun things like get a job that really matters, and decide who you want to marry and start a family with. I am so excited to see Brittany come into the role of wife and see how her new husband does with his role as well ;) 


So...ready or not...we are now grown ups!

Mr. and Mrs. Will Bartz

What is love?

"And so the policemen came over and over again, and took us away and my mama cried in the back of that police car, hands cuffed, and she told me that she loved me. And I knew in my little heart, as I looked up at her, tears streaming and mascara running, I knew that she really did love me. She just couldn't make it work."

This is the link to the post written by a woman who has been able to take her past hurts and see the beauty God has created from it.

Reading this blog post and seeing parents interact with their children at my internship this past semester, I found that to be true-the parents do love their children.  Parents who struggle to provide for their children or struggle to "love" them the way we think they should, do not do it for lack of loving their child.  Just because a parent losses their temper with their child or can't quit smoking or doing drugs or overcome a mental illness for their child, does not mean they don't love them. Does this mean they should have custody of them? No, but I think they do still love them.   I think that a lot of the time they can't adequately express that love because they have never been shown what love looks like.  Many of them have had parents who struggle with the very same thing they are struggling with.

Disclaimer: I am not sure how a parent could love their child and sexually abuse them, but there as to be some kind of love bond between a parent and child now matter what right??? The jury is still out on that one for me. Feel free to comment if you have any thoughts on that. But...

How do you know what love is? I know love because God has shown me His love by allowing Jesus to die an excruciating death on the Cross.  God's love is patient, kind, slow to anger, gentle, gracious, compassionate, faithful, and selfless. And before I was able to really comprehend what His love was like I was shown His love through the love of my parents.  My parents knew how to love me this way because their parents first loved them the very same way. Since Jesus has shown me and told me, I know what love is. And I know He calls me to share that love with others.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I feel it is important for us, as followers of Christ, to show His love to those who have never seen it before. I have seen that when you love with His love it is powerful and effective.  I mean, it captivated and changed your heart didn't it? I know it captivated mine, so how could it not captivate and change theirs as well?