I read this on another blog and wanted to share. I just copy and pasted it below, but here is the link too! http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2011/12/what-i-want-you-to-know-how-church.html
"What I want you to know is that the way the church views sexual abuse
and teaches (or lack thereof) its congregation about how to handle
sexual abuse is often misguided and misconstrued. I want you to know
that our lack of understanding as Christians fills me with an unholy
rage. Childhoods are being ripped away.
Every 2 minutes (in the
United States alone) someone is sexually assaulted. I have visited
well over 15 churches throughout the course of my lifetime. Of all my
visits, only 2 churches have discussed the ramifications of sexual abuse
and how we, as Christians, should react. Unfortunately, I know more
women who have been sexually abused than I can count on one hand. Does
anyone else sense just how devastating that is? Of all the women I know
who were sexually abused, all but one experienced the sexual abuse
during childhood. Two of them had perpetrators were well-revered members
of their church communities. Two of these brave women told me that the
abuse they suffered is the reason they don't believe in God. After all,
what kind of a loving Creator would allow such atrocities to happen to
such innocence?"
"The most angering experience I had in a church
was when I visited one in Chicago while an undergrad. One of the first
sermons I attended discussed sexual abuse. At first it was pretty on-par
with what I believe. By the conclusion, he entirely lost me: "Both the
sexual abuser and the abused need to ask for God's forgiveness for their
sins. The victim's body is a temple and by being abused they have
desecrated their temple. Therefore they need to seek God's forgiveness
for the sins against their body." I think I was in shock. I didn't know
how to process it. It tore my heart in two."
"If I could go back,
the things I would say to this man. Is the body a temple? Yes. Do you
honestly believe God would expect a victim of sexual abuse to ask for
forgiveness for "their role in the act"? No way. I can assure you that
no sexual abuse victim was a willing participant. That's why it's called
abuse. This pastor was so ignorant of the ramifications of abuse. I
will forever regret not speaking out because I truly believe his words
were not God's. I've witnessed the heartbreak. I've cried with the
victims. The pain is insurmountable. Sexual abuse is devastating."
"So,
as a church, what can we do? We need to discuss it. Silence just
reaffirms the victim's mentality that it was somehow their fault when it
so clearly wasn't. We need to develop a deeper understanding of it so
that when we do discuss it we do not speak damaging, unholy words. We
need to provide sexual abuse victims resources to cope with their
trauma. But most importantly, we need to love the victims and support
them unconditionally: we need to show them Christ's love. It's not our
job to make anyone believe in God. However, I truly believe that if we
personify Christ's love that so many more will want to seek Him out. I
also believe that true and total healing can only be found in Christ.
And sexual abuse victims need total healing more than just about anyone
I've ever met."
